Come To Me..

So in an effort to save space coming over here I did not bring many books with me. And what books I did bring were mostly devotional books and the smallest ones I could find. This included Sarah Young's Jesus Calling a book of 365 short letters written from Jesus to you with references to the verses she used. It has been perfect for me to read the short letter and then dive into the scripture that follows. Sunday was a particularly hard day for me here and so I went to the park by my house and literally spent hours sitting, thinking, praying and praying some more. And that is when I read this:

"Come to Me, and rest in My loving Presence. You know that this day will bring difficulties, and you are trying to think your way through those trials. As you anticipate what is ahead of you, you forget that I am with you-now and always. Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur. Do not multiply your suffering in this way! Instead, come to Me, and relax in My Peace. I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust."  -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

The verses referenced for this passage are:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. -Matthew 11:28-30

AND

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you....Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. -Joshua 1:5,9

I almost laughed outloud when I was done reading all of this. A laughter full of understanding. And also because The Joshua verses are what I ready for like a week straight before I boarded the plane for Spain. Trying to convince myself to be strong and courageous over and over again. Well, you can ask many people (Leslie Sloan) how much I failed at that upon leaving.

And for a few days I kept getting mad at myself for not being strong and courageous but then I realized I was doing it for all of the wrong reasons. I had it in my head that it was what I was supposed to do and instead, it should be the fruit of being with Jesus. I should be strong and courageous because He is with me. Not because I am strong by any means, because I am not. And that I can only become this way by spending more time with Him and truly letting him have control of my life. I spend so much time worrying about things and about details I may or may not be able to control instead of just being along for the ride and trusting and letting Jesus turn my fear into a confident trust. So that is my prayer for myself. That my fear would be turned into a confident trust and that I would rest in the Love of Christ that is with me everywhere.