Gathering

So this morning I was having some much needed time with my friend, Jesus, and I happened to randomly (haha) open to a poem by a man named Jim Branch. It basically made me cry, but good tears. I have read it before but as of late it holds new and deeper meaning in my life each day. The first part is referring to the passage in the Bible John 6: 1-14 where Jesus feeds five thousand with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. So here it is:

gathering by: Jim Branch

scattered pieces littering the hillside
scraps from what once fed multitudes
casualties of the train wreck of provision and need
or so it seems

a death; a loss; a heartbreak
a wound; a brokenness; a darkness
loneliness; despair; isolation
the scattered pieces of this life
littering the ground of my being
unwanted; unwelcome; uninvited
fit only to be mourned and thrown away
or so it seems

until touched by the hand of one
who brings beauty from ashes
who utters the words of life and hope
weaving the fragments of my brokenness
into the me that was planned from the beginning
"let nothing be wasted"
and suddenly that which seemed to have no value
becomes meaningful and beautiful in your care
these parts make a whole
they serve a divine purpose

"I will rescue the lame and gather together what has been
scattered"
and make it into a vital part of you;
the object of my great delight and affection

so sing and shout
brighten up and spin around
for I am gathering your pieces
and restoring you
into a fearful and wonderful creation
and nothing is wasted

Legitimately I feel like my life has been shattered and scattered all over the place but amidst all of this mess, I have seen many glimpses of hope and faithfulness and have also seen in my past how God has used the literal garbage in my life to bring glory to his name and to show me that he is still God, even when I feel like he isn't. The amount of love I and my family have received from people is incredible and continues to surprise and amaze me in new ways everyday.

This Christmas and holiday season was by far one of the hardest times for our family. We all wrote letters to John on Christmas morning talking about things that we missed or memories that we had of him. Even amidst the tears streaming down our faces and the snot bubbling out of our noses, we couldn't help but laugh. John was so unique and different, but I think for the thing that stood out the most was his big smile and laugh. It was loud and when he would really laugh his blue eyes would get all squinty and he would almost choke on the laughter. He loved to prank people as well. The other day my older brother, two younger sisters and I had went through his room and picked out things that we wanted to keep for ourselves. I opened up his desk drawer where he kept his random pens and pencils and picked up a shiny pen that looked like it might write well. When I clicked the top I received a massive jolt that shot up my entire arm. It was John's prized shock pen that I had bought with him on one of our many family vacations. We all just busted out laughing. Everyone except myself that is. I might have called him a bad word or two, but only out of pure love for the kid :)

People always say that life is certainly not like a movie. But if you think about it, it kind of is. During the course of one's life there are "actors" (different people who play different roles in your life) and lots and lots of editing and when you look back upon it there is drama and hard times and good times and they all come together to make something hopefully worth viewing over and over again. You can say I'm crazy but it makes sense in my head.

Well, my arms are cramping, my sisters are yelling, and the dogs are barking obnoxiously wanting to come in from the "frigid" south Texas winter air.

Please continue to keep my family and I in your prayers. The road ahead is long and as the monotony of life sets in after the holidays I can only feel the days getting longer and harder.
Thanks again for your support and love of my family and I. It is much needed.

"gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted"
-John 6: 12b