More than Just Words

I am currently in my second week of a 3 week long intensive spanish language course. I go to a class 5 days a week for 4 hours straight with one 15 minute break. It is intense (haha) but so worth it. I feel like I have learned so much in just 9 days of class. But I guess that is the point. The last two days of class have been even more intense than the rest. Mostly because my professor started teaching us how to do and say things like a local person would. Strange sounding, I know. I have been here for about 5 months and somehow i hadn't learned a lot of this stuff.

A language is not just words, it is a culture. To understand the language you almost HAVE to understand the culture. Learning a language is one thing but learning how to use it correctly is an entirely different thing. One of the hardest adjustments for me in learning/applying Spanish is that the biggest difference is the manner in which Spanish people are polite. Let me explain.

As Americans who speak English we put a lot of emphasis on saying things like 'please, and thank you very much, and sir, and ma'am. We use big words and try to dance around being as direct as possible when asking for stuff from somebody we don't know. Not the spanish. They are very direct people. So when you go to a restaurant/bar/grocery store you don't really say 'please' or 'may i please have' you actually mostly use the command form of the words, meaning you are direct and to the point. The 'niceness' comes in the intonation of your voice, not the words you use.  I have been learning about this concept since 8th grade but it wasn't until i was faced with putting it into practice here that I realized just how different that is. I still feel so weird saying things like 'me pone un cafe' or 'me traes la cuenta.' (simply translated into 'bring me a/the_________.) you can say please but not many people do. It is so weird.

It has been such a great experience to studying in Spain. To learn the culture, to understand a way of life very different from my own. And to be able to travel to places I have only dreamed about is pretty awesome.  Honestly never thought i might one day get to lay on a beach in Portugal, swim in the Mediterranean Sea,  stand under the Eifel Tower, eat raw oysters out of ocean off the coast of France, take the sound of music tour, go on a winery tour through the Tuscany region in Italy and so much more. I'm sure some of you are probably fuming with jealousy right now. But I don't apologize :) I am so excited and thankful for this opportunity and the things I have learned so far and the things i have yet to learn/experience.

And to think I still have 5 months left to enjoy of my experience. I feel like the luckest girl in the world right now.

Healing

I got up this morning and realized that it has been a year and a half since that horrific night I found out that I wouldn't get to see John Noll's sweet smiling face again. The actual day was this past Thursday and I write this because I didn't even notice. Granted, I was busy that entire day but that day a year ago was traumatic and full of tears and frustration. And this time around it caught me completely off guard this morning. I miss him terribly. And I honestly have no more understanding than I did that first night.

But I am healing. Slowly and surely. By the Grace of God alone, I am healing and always will be. Thinking about just a short year ago or even 6 months ago I wasn't sure I would ever feel 'normal' again. That I would ever be able to make through a day without having a major emotional breakdown and feeling hopeless. But the days have passed and they have brought much life. I have experienced the love of Christ deeper and richer than ever. I have found friends where I wasn't looking. I am learning to daily trust Jesus to actually provide. Which is way, way harder than I ever thought. It should be very easy but I definitely struggle with this one.

John would have graduated high school this spring. I still think a lot about all of the things I will never see him do. But I also want to remember the things that I did get to see him do. Because those are the things that actually matter. The reality of it all is still sometimes just as shocking as in the beginning but as the days pass I find myself enjoying life once again. And for that, I am truly thankful. I will always walk hand in hand with sorrow and sadness but I think I will be able to do so with a joy that I didn't have before and an understanding beyond words. The Lord is good. ALL the time.

SPRING BREAK!!!

So I had Spring break a little over 2 weeks ago. Crazy. Last year I stayed in Asheville and my sister, Mary, came to visit from Wheaton College outside of Chicago. I learned the hard way that it is not a good idea to stay in town for Spring Break. Mary and I had a wonderful time but there were lots of activities and things that I felt I had to be present. I could have said no but I didn't.

This year Mary and I decided to spring break again together. In the brainstorming process, Mary decided she wanted to do some camping and hiking in Great Smoky Mountain National Park. So I started figuring ways out to make this happen also knowing there was no way we would be able to camp for a full week in early March. So I enlisted the help of my friend Drew who is an experienced backpacker. And we planned a two day two night trip to be followed up by Mary and I heading to Nashville, TN for 3 days. My friend Brandon also accompanied us on the backpacking trip.

We left Monday morning and hit the trail by 1:30pm hiking 5 miles before setting up camp for the night. Well, I let the pictures tell the rest of the story..

cr-v beasted the snow.

just like Little House on the Prairie! haha

campsite #1

yep. this is normal :)

Day 2: 13 mile day. first 4 straight up.

i don't even know..

atop Hemphill Bald.

Music City!

All of their posters are hand printed. It is kind

of a trade mark place in Nashville.

One of my favorite places we ate.

you can probably smell the butter

wafting out of the computer screen

Parents were married here in the 80's. Sadly,

the original sanctuary burned down 5 yrs ago.

but the steeple is in the same place...

Centennial Park with our friend Daniel.

Self guided tour of Vanderbilt University. So cool

View of downtown Nashville at night from a walking bridge.

Overall the trip was great. There were a few speed bumps and hard times but it is a trip that produced many many stories (both wonderful and terrible). But I think that is what I am beginning to love about it. It was real. Frustrating at times but very rewarding in others. Being removed from it I am beginning to look at the pieces individually and discover the goodness in all of the moments. I discovered that my body can put up with mentally and physically a lot more than I thought it could. I am beginning to learn the art of true patience and being ok with being lost and that things never do really turn out the way you want them to and that is actually have the fun. If things actually always turned out the way I want them to I think I would actually be even more frustrated.

I believe that Spring Break 2011 will be fondly remembered for years to come.

"SPRING BREAAK!!!!!!!!"

(always yelled as loud as possible while waving

two sets of rock and roll fingers in the air and followed by a woohoo!)

Life is Like a Roll of Toilet Paper

I am a Spanish major. Every time I say this out loud the responses vary widely. I have received "Oh. that is neat." to "What the hell are you going to do with that?" I say this because I have chosen not to pair Spanish with a minor. Probably not the smartest decision but I will figure that out later. I feel like if I know a foreign language I'll be ok somewhere. That being said it has given me lots of room to take some interesting classes at UNCA. Last semester was Portuguese and Political Science. This semester is peppered with Meteorology and Media Ethics. Yep. Kind of weird. This post is dedicated to my Meteorology class.

I have actually always been interested in weather. It fascinates me how much it can control our lives and how it is THE constant variable in any conversation between people. Always. So I thought I would try it out. Only two weeks in and it has been a very special treat. My professor has already become my favorite I have had in my time at UNCA. He is a small Asian man with a very thick Asian accent. This proves difficult at times in class but he is very good at writing words on the board so we know what he is talking about. He also gets off on random tangents in class about life and life lessons. Today it was toilet paper.

He had brought in a plunger to talk to us about air pressure and vacuums. This also means he brought in a roll of toilet paper just for fun. After completing the demonstation he gave the class a five minute speech comparing our lives to toilet paper. Even within that speech he spent 30 seconds talking about how ugly new borns are. Back to the toilet paper. He held up the roll and said it was a metaphor for our life. Of course everyone giggled. He then talked about how the roll starts out big and becomes unwound. Slower feeling at first and then when you get down closer to the core it seems to go faster and faster. Then he broke a piece off and told us we were all fragile and our rolls can break at anytime. He then told us to go out and live a good life and ended by raising the roll high above his head and saying "cheers to you all." We then casually went back to talking about air pressure and jet streams.

Yeah. That basically sums this class up. I learn a whole lot about weather and whole lot about life. He is a very smart man and I enjoy his musings very much. I have yet to leave that class without a smile on my face.

And as funny as it is...

Life IS like a roll of toilet paper. Lot's of different kinds, sizes, patterns, textures, and opinions about how it should be unrolled. But in the end it is essentially toilet paper with one supposed to be Ultimate purpose (insert assertions here) and when it is used for other things like cleaning up spills it doesn't work out so much...so..

Cheers to toilet paper!

side note. I actually strongly dislike the Charmin commercials. They are what you would call a def awk sitch (definitely awkward situation for those who don't do abbreviations) but since these bears had no toilet paper I gave them a second chance.

All Things John

This blog post is basically dedicated to all things John Noll:

Dear John,

Remember when you were little and you hated mash potatoes so much that you would literally throw them up on your plate while eating them?

Remember when you and I would play spies and spaceship all day during those long Texas summer months. And you would dress up with us girls and have tea parties and play library?

You had the most rosy red cheeks I've ever seen on a human being. Santa ain't got nothin' on you.

All those days we used to throw the baseball in the yard and even though it was supposed to be so you could practice I would inevitably make you be catcher while I practiced my pitching skills that I would never use.

Your smile. I don't think our family owns a single picture without you smiling or making some kind of goofy face. Oh, except that one at Mom and Dad's wedding when you were so ticked off at something. Even then, cutest face ever! And your laugh, there is no forgetting that one. I wish I had a sound track of it. You would laugh so hard sometimes no sounds would come out. You even laughed when Dad broke your nose while playing baseball with you. I can't help but laugh at that picture of you in the ER with your nose all taped up just smiling away...

As you grew older you wanted to do EVERYTHING I was doing. You even made me teach you how to dribble and shoot lay ups so you could try out for the 7th grade basketball team. They loved you so much they made you manager.

You hated pillows and even sleeping in your bed...who are you??

You loved practical jokes. Your pocket buzzer was always a big hit at Young Life camps and even after you were gone and we were cleaning out the 10 things you owned in your room you still got me with that stupid shocking pen you bought in Boone, NC.

I miss buying M rated video games for you. I will never forget when I turned 17 and you were so excited and I couldn't figure out why until you made me take you to Wal-Mart so you could buy the computer game versions of all the M rated video games you weren't allowed to buy.

I miss yelling at you because you were such a pyro. I'll never forget one day coming home from school and seeing a flaming coffee can on the driveway and you were bent over it with a can of hairspray. I asked you what you were doing and you said "I'm making a Goblet of Fire!!" I will always love Harry Potter because of that.

Your reading habits and how you have probably read as many books as the Library of Congress has on record. Seriously, I would like to see any kid break your Accelerated Reading points records. Seriously, I don't even think their point system went high enough.

I have a home video of you and Anne dancing to 'Crank That' by Soulja Boy Tell Em that I was secretly saving to show at your wedding. I think I might have to show that one at Thanksgiving. You had no rhythm but would dance anyway and I always loved that. What the heck! enjoy this video...Anne Noll is going to hate me :)

Harmonicas always make me think of you. The same with whistling. Remember when I used to get so mad at you for singing my favorite songs? Oh Lord, I was crazy. I hope that you didn't actually get a singing voice in heaven because I seriously miss your off key singing.

We both shared an extreme love for anything Colorado including that stupid Taylor Park t-shirt that we used to fight over all the time..every time I go there I will think about all of the adventures we had and fighting over the top bunk in the trailer and the day I got demoted to the front seat in the excursion so you and Ryan could have 'brother bonding time.' I sure did (do) have a hot head about me and you certainly used to know how to make me the most angry. No joke, I do not know anyone that could make me as angry as you did at times.

All those rainy afternoons that you and I played with your lego sets. My favorite was the Harry Potter set you got. No joke. Especially all those time we would combine the legos, Star Wars figures, and GI-joes together and set up crazy scenes. You were the only one who would do that with me.

As you were well into middle school you had one life goal, to be better than me at EVERYTHING including being taller than me. Well, I think you definitely achieved it. You were better at running than me, better at hunting, better at fishing, and better at showing you loved people than me. And I am glad for it.

I always enjoyed all of the notes you would write me for my birthday. But my favorite was the one you wrote me for graduation. I found it the other day and smiled because I realized how much you actually did look up to me. Makes me pretty darn proud.

All those times were at Young Life camp's together. Those were good times.I'll never forget being at Sharp Top and being 16 and an angry staff kid and you were 13 and basically on work crew in the pits washing dishes everyday. Don't think I need to tell you how dumb I felt that month.

And all of that World War II reenactment you did at the Nimitz Museum in Fredericksburg. Didn't even get paid but you did it anyways. I'll never forget that day you called me to ask me how to send an email so that you could send me a picture of yourself using the only operational flame thrower in the entire state of Texas. I know you weren't ever really in the military but I'll remember you on Veteran's Day anyways.

Even though you are gone, you will live on forever. The people who's lives you touched have too many awesome stories and crazy memories for that. I wanted to say that I truly feel blessed to be your sister and to have shared 16 years with you. Much love to you brother!

FALL IS HERE!!!

Fall is full force here in Western North Carolina. I cannot believe that it is already Mid October. That seems literally impossible. But who am I kidding? I say that every year. Doesn't mean it is any less true.

I am a Junior in college this year. Unbelievable. Some days it feels like I just moved out here. But I didn't. It has been so fun to feel like I belong to a place again. A place in which I don't have connections just because my parents lived there (although that is nice too Mom and Dad). Having my own apartment has been amazing as well. In January it will be 1 year since I moved off campus. So worth it!!

School is going well. Taking Portuguese and Spanish at the same time was just about the worst class decision ever. I can't keep them straight but I am surviving. It is a great conversation topic with people. Everyone who is on Twitter and Facebook has heard my griping and complaining. Sorry guys..

Young Life is going well. Asheville High, the school I lead at, has gone through lots of transition Young Life wise. This year I literally have an entirely new team at Asheville High and some how I ended up leading the charge there. It has so far been a great learning experience in which everyday brings new challenges/excitement. I am so excited for what the rest of the year will hold. Here is a picture of our team this year:

L to R: Matt, Deanna, Meredith, Kyle, ME!, Taylor, and Christy

LOVE THEM!

One of the many reasons I love living out here is the fact that I get to enjoy 4 seasons!!! Some of you might be asking "what's that like?" Well, I 'll tell you. It is glorious!! I can look outside in the summer and it looks completely different than that winter! For you Texans I know this might be hard to believe.

Each season is distinct and marks a transition. I don't think I could ever go back to 2 seasons. It makes the year seem so long...

So there is a little update on my life! Things are moving right along. Before I know it I'll be singing Christmas Carols, eating far too many candy canes, and watching White Christmas on repeat.

mmmm...gingerbread men.

Settling In

So I returned to Asheville last Monday, August 9th. Last night is the first night i've spent in my apartment since returning.

Right now my room is in shambles and I literally jumping right back into life today.

But I feel good about it.

It feels good to be back. To be in a place that is my own. A place that I know fairly well. No more suitcases, 7 sets of clothes on repeat, or travel size toiletries. Seriously, everything looks so gigantic. Toothpaste, contact solution, shampoo/conditioner. All looks like giants should be using it.

Classes start Monday and I feel like this week is the calm before the storm.

I saw this quote today while attempting to shop for a dresser and I liked it. I know I've heard it before but it made me laugh really hard.

This pretty much sums up life right now. And life in general sometimes. I think I'm starting to reach a point where I understand that crap is just going to keep happening. I can still be frustrated by it, angry at it, sad at it. But I can keep living, keep going. Taking time to process the crap but I will be ok.

Bottom line. It's good to be back. I loved Colorado very very much and there are certainly days when I wish I could go back but it was time to come home and jump back into life...full throttle.

For the first time in a long time I feel life again. I can also feel myself changing and growing.

This year is going to be a crazy one but I'm not afraid of it, at least not right now :)

I love these verses and am attempting to memorize them:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God. And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

-Philippians 4: 4-7

Enough said